Spec for "The Office" – "FUN DAY"

               THE OFFICE
               SEASON 4, EPISODE 3
                                      “Fun Day”
                                      COLD OPEN
               INT. OFFICE, RECEPTION AREA, MORNING -D1
               MICHAEL WALKS IN, JUMPING AROUND MANIACALLY, CLEARLY EXCITED
               ABOUT SOMETHING.
               PAM LOOKS WARILY AT THE CAMERA.
                                   PAM
                      What’s up?
               MICHAEL LOOKS PROUDLY AT THE CAMERA AND DISPLAYS AN UNOPENED
               PUBLISHER’S CLEARINGHOUSE ENVELOPE, CLOSE ON THE TEXT, WHICH
               READS “YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE WON $10,000,000!” 
               MICHAEL GRINS EXCITEDLY AND TEARS OPEN THE ENVELOPE, WHILE
               SPEAKING TO PAM AND THE CAMERA.
                                   MICHAEL
                      I don’t even remember entering this
                      contest.
               PAM LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, TRYING NOT TO SMILE
                                   PAM
                      Well Michael, I should warn you. . .
               MICHAEL CUTS PAM OFF, SCOWLING
                                   MICHAEL
                      Oh, PAM. Don’t ruin this for me. I
                      could be a millionaire! Don’t you want
                      to be invited to my playboy parties?
               MICHAEL DOES A RIDICULOUS DANCE, WIGGLING HIS HIPS
               SUGGESTIVELY.
               PAM GRIMACES.
               THE COMMOTION MICHAEL IS CREATING CAUSES JIM AND DWIGHT TO
               WANDER OVER TO THE RECEPTION AREA TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON.
               ANGLE ON JIM, WHO CATCHES PAM’S EYE. JIM LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.
               DWIGHT COMES OVER TO MICHAEL AND REACHES FOR THE ENVELOPE.
                                   DWIGHT
                      Michael, let me see that.
               MICHAEL HASTILY YANKS THE ENVELOPE AWAY FROM DWIGHT, BUT
               DWIGHT PERSISTS, YANKING HARDER, TEARING THE ENVELOPE IN
               HALF.
               MICHAEL SCREAMS, FALLING TO THE FLOOR DRAMATICALLY.
               INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE-D1
               MICHAEL SITS AT HIS DESK, FORLORN, HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.
               PAN TO THE CORNER OF THE ROOM, WHERE DWIGHT SITS ON A STOOL
               FACING THE CORNER WEARING A DUNCE CAP MADE OF DUNDER MIFFLIN
               PAPER.

                                  END OF COLD OPEN
                                       ACT ONE
               INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE-AFTERNOON-D1
               MICHAEL SITS AT HIS DESK, DEPRESSED. IT LOOKS AS THOUGH HE
               HAS BEEN CRYING. HE IS ON SPEAKERPHONE WITH JAN, AS SHE TRIES
               TO CONSOLE HIM.
                                   MICHAEL
                      He just always ruins everything for
                      me. We could have been set for life.
                                   JAN (O.S.)
                      Don’t be ridiculous, Michael. Everyone
                      knows those things are just marketing
                      schemes.  Quit pouting.
               MICHAEL LOOKS UP AT THE CAMERA, STIFF FACED.
                                   MICHAEL
                      You don’t get it. This was big. This
                      was my golden ticket. Everyone always
                      wants to take that away from me.
               JAN BECOMES IRRITATED
                                   JAN (O.S.)
                      Michael. No one is taking anything
                      away from you. (beat) So I was
                      thinking tomorrow we could go antique
                      ing, then afterwards go check out the
                      outlet malls, then a make-over and
                      maybe then we could just have some
                      quality time at home. Don’t you think
                      that’d be a great little Saturday?
               MICHAEL GRIMACES AND LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, WIDE EYED, SHAKING
               HIS HEAD. HE IS SILENT FOR A FEW SECONDS.
                                   MICHAEL
                      What about the carnival?
                                   JAN (O.S.)
                      We’re not going to do that.
               MICHAEL GRITS HIS TEETH AND SIGHS.
                                   MICHAEL
                      You promised.
               JAN SIGHS, IRRITATED
                                   JAN (O.S.)
                      Well. . . Let’s talk about it later,
                      ok? 
               MICHAEL SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF, AND IS SILENT FOR
               SEVERAL MOMENTS.
                                   JAN (O.S.) (CONT’D)
                      Michael? Michael? Hello? (shouting)
                      Michael!
                                   MICHAEL
                      Actually, ummm I. . . I’m going to be
                      working tomorrow.
                                   JAN (O.S.)
                      On Saturday?!
               MICHAEL PAUSES, LOOKING TOWARD THE CAMERA AS IF FOR A
               SUGGESTION.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Yes. It’s. . . a. . . mandatory day.
                                   JAN (O.S.)
                      (skeptical) A mandatory Saturday?
                                   MICHAEL
                      Yeah. Gotta Go.
               MICHAEL HASTILY HANGS UP THE PHONE, SIGHS, AND LOOKS UP AT
               THE CAMERA, PLEASED WITH HIMSELF.
               INT, THE OFFICE, JIM AND DWIGHT’S DESKS-MOMENTS LATER-D1
               MICHAEL WALKS OUT INTO THE OFFICE
                                   MICHAEL
                      Alright everyone. Announcement. Listen
                      up. This is big. Big time.
               ANGLE ON STANLEY, WHO LOOKS IMPATIENT.
               BACK TO MICHAEL.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      I. . . Have a surprise for you. I have
                      decided, that in light of my current
                      situation, I could use a little fun.
                      We could all use a little fun.
                      Especially me.
               THE OFFICE EMPLOYEES BEGIN TO SHIFT IN THEIR SEATS, WORRIED
               OF WHAT MICHAEL MAY SUGGEST.
               ANGLE ON ANGELA
                                   ANGELA
                      Strippers should not be allowed on
                      these premises.
               ANGLE ON KEVIN
                                   KEVIN
                      Don’t speak for all of us.
               MICHAEL SCOWLS AND ROLLS HIS EYES.
                                   MICHAEL
                      I’m not talking about that, and
                      Angela, that’s called discrimination.
                      Dunder Mifflin is an equal opportunity
                      employer. Even for strippers. But
                      that’s not the point. The point, is
                      that  I have planned. . . A fun day.
                      For all of us. Cancel your plans
                      tomorrow, we are all going to the
                      Carnival.
               ANGLE ON STANLEY
                                   STANLEY
                      Will we be compensated for this
                      nonsense?
               MICHAEL LOOKS AWAY AND MUMBLES A RESPONSE
                                   MICHAEL
                      Talk to Toby.
               ANGLE ON TOBY, WHO LOOKS AT THE CAMERA WEARILY.
               ANGLE ON PAM, WHO CATCHES JIM’S ATTENTION. JIM SMIRKS AND
               SHRUGS.
               ANGLE ON ANDY, WHO SEEMS EXCITED, AND RUNS OVER TO MICHAEL,
               GIVING HIM A BEAR HUG. MICHAEL BACKS AWAY.
                                   ANDY
                      Yes! I love carnivals!
               ANDY CROSSES BACK TO HIS DESK, BUT ON THE WAY, PASSES ANGELA,
               WINKING AT HER. SHE GIVES HIM THE COLD SHOULDER.
               ANGLE ON DWIGHT, WHO SEEMS DISTURBED.
               BACK TO MICHAEL
                                   MICHAEL
                      Ok, gang- be here bright and early
                      tomorrow morning. And plan on spending
                      the full day. This is going to be fun.
               VARIOUS EMPLOYEES GROAN
                                   JIM
                      Michael, really? Tomorrow is Saturday.
                      Is this absolutely necessary? I had
                      things I wanted to do.
               MICHAEL LOOKS ANNOYED
                                   MICAHEL
                      Be a team player, Jim. There is no “I’
                      in team.
               JIM, PLAYFUL, LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, THEN BACK AT MICHAEL.
                                   JIM
                      Yes. There is.
               MICHAEL LOOKS CONFUSED, AND IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE IS TRYING
               TO SPELL “TEAM” IN HIS HEAD FOR A MOMENT, BUT THEN HE
               RECOVERS.
                                   MICAHEL
                      Jim- if a tree falls in the forest, do
                      I? 
               JIM SMIRKS AT THE CAMERA
                                   JIM
                      What?
               MICHAEL SIGHS WITH FRUSTRATION AT JIM’S “STUPIDITY”,  HIS
               TONE TURNING SERIOUS.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Just be here. It’s mandatory. You will
                      have fun. Or. . . You’ll be fired.
               MICHAEL RETREATS TO HIS OFFICE
               ANGLE ON ANDY, WHO SUDDENLY REALIZES HE HAS LOST SOMETHING
               AND STARTS SEARCHING HIS DESK FRANTICALLY.
               PAM TALKING HEAD
                                   PAM
                      Normally, I’d be really bummed about
                      having to come in on a Saturday, but
                      my apartment is getting fumigated
                      anyway, and. . .
               PAM SMILES AND HOLDS UP A FOLDER, OPENS IT AND PULLS OUT A
               RIDICULOUS LOOKING PROFESSIONAL HEAD SHOT OF ANDY. SHE
               DEMONSTRATES THAT THE FOLDER IS FULL OF IDENTICAL PHOTOS.
                                   PAM (CONT’D)
                       I found these next to the water
                      cooler.  So, you know, I figured Jim
                      and I could have some fun.
               SHE GRINS AND SHRUGS.
               MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
                                   MICHAEL
                      Jan is going to be so pissed.  Oops.
                      She’s not the boss, though. She is not
                      the boss. I’m the boss. 
               EXT. THE OFFICE PARKING LOT, MORNING, -D2
                STANLEY, MEREDITH, CREED, KELLY, ANGELA, DWIGHT, PHYLLIS AND
               BOB VANCE, KEVIN,  JIM, PAM, OSCAR, GIL  AND ANDY STAND
               AROUND OUTSIDE NEXT TO A CHARTER BUS WAITING TO BOARD.
               EVERYONE SEEMS TIRED AND ANNOYED. SUDDENLY, MICHAEL JUMPS OUT
               FROM BEHIND THE BUS,WEARING A CLOWN WIG, A BRIGHT YELLOW
               SWEATSHIRT AND HIS TRADEMARK FUN JEANS. HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
               AS HE SPRAYS EVERYONE WITH SILLY STRING. SEVERAL MOANS AND
               GROANS FOLLOW.  MICHAEL THEN POINTS TO DWIGHT, AND DWIGHT
               REACHES INTO HIS COAT POCKET RETRIEVING A RECORDER
               (INSTRUMENT) WHICH HE BEGINS TO PLAY.  DWIGHT AND MICHAEL
               THEN BEGIN TO DANCE AND SKIP THEIR WAY AROUND THE OTHERS. THE
               OFFICE EMPLOYEES LOOK AT THE CAMERA, SIMULTANEOUSLY
               MISERABLE.
               JIM TALKING HEAD
                                   JIM
                      ( picking silly string out of his
                      hair) The sad part is. . . He planned
                      that. They probably got here early to
                      choreograph it.
               MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
                                   MICHAEL
                      Annoying? These people. They don’t
                      call it “annoying” string, do they?
                      It’s silly.
               MICHAEL SPRAYS THE CAMERA WITH SILLY STRING AND LAUGHS.
               A HAND FROM BEHIND THE CAMERA SNATCHES THE CAN, AND MICHAEL’S
               SMILE FADES QUICKLY.
               INT, INSIDE THE CHARTER BUS, MOMENTS LATER-D2
               PEOPLE BEGIN LOADING THE BUS SINGLE FILE AS MICHAEL JABBERS
               ON (AD LIB).  PHYLLIS AND BOB TAKE A SEAT UP FRONT, JIM AND
               PAM FOLLOW, ANGELA TAKES A SEAT NEXT TO THEM AND ANDY HASTILY
               SCOOTS IN NEXT TO HER AS DWIGHT WATCHES PAINFULLY AND TAKES A
               SEAT BEHIND THEM. OSCAR AND GIL SIT DOWN NEXT, FOLLOWED BY
               KEVIN, WHO TAKES A SEAT TO HIMSELF. KELLY FOLLOWS, TAKING A
               SEAT TO HERSELF, AS DOES CREED.
               MEREDITH TAKES A SEAT NEXT TO CREED, GIGGLING, FLASHING A
               FLASK TO CREED, WHO GRINS. THE ONLY SEATS LEFT ARE TOWARD THE
               BACK, AND STANLEY BEGINS TO BOARD, AS MICHAEL PUSHES HIM
               ASIDE, TRYING TO GET A SEAT CLOSER TO THE ACTION.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Hurry up! Just. . . Just go sit in the
                      back, Stanley.
               STANLEY SCOWLS AT MICHAEL AND STANDS TALL.
               MICHAEL LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, CLUELESS TO THE IMPLICATIONS OF
               HIS STATEMENT.
               STANLEY SIGHS AND SITS DOWN, ROLLING HIS EYES.
               MICHAEL STANDS AROUND TRYING TO FIND A SUITABLE SEAT, BUT IS
               DISTRACTED WHEN HE SEES TOBY APPROACHING THE BUS. MICHAEL
               TURNS TO THE DRIVER AND SHOUTS.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      Go! Go! That man is not with us.
               ANGLE ON TOBY, WHO WAVES TO THE DRIVER, MOTIONING HIM TO
               WAIT.
                                   DRIVER
                      Uh, are you sure? He’s waving his
                      arms.
                                   MICHAEL
                      That’s because he’s crazy. Crazy
                      person.  Let’s go!
               JIM STARTS TO SAY SOMETHING BUT MICHAEL TALKS OVER HIM.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      Come on, pretend like we’re in that
                      movie “Speed”. 
               THE DRIVER LOOKS AT MICHAEL WARILY AND SHRUGS, DRIVING THE
               BUS FORWARD.
               ANGLE ON TOBY, WHO STANDS IN THE PARKING LOT BEWILDERED AS
               THE BUS PULLS AWAY.
               INT, ON BOARD THE BUS, A FEW MINUTES LATER-D2
               MICHAEL, STILL STANDING BEHIND THE DRIVER’S SEAT, IS
               ATTEMPTING TO REENACT A SCENE FROM THE MOVIE “SPEED”.
                                                                 CUT TO:
               INT, ON BOARD THE BUS, MOMENTS LATER-D2
               MICHAEL SITS AT THE VERY BACK OF THE BUS, ALONE, IN TIME OUT.
               HE POUTS.
               EXT. OUTSIDE THE CARNIVAL, MID MORNING- D2
               THE OFFICE EMPLOYEES STAND IN LINE FOR WRISTBANDS. IT IS
               EVIDENT THAT THEY ARE ALL VERY RELUCTANTLY PAYING FOR
               THEMSELVES. MICHAEL STANDS AROUND THE ENTRANCE, WAITING.
               KELLY APPROACHES MICHAEL, ANNOYED
                                   KELLY
                      I can’t believe you just made us pay
                      for ourselves. This is Saturday. I
                      should totally be at the mall and not
                      at some gross carnival anyway.
               MICHAEL LOOKS AT HER, IMPATIENT.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Well, you can talk to Toby about that.
                      He was supposed to take care of all of
                      that- and he missed the bus.
                                   KELLY
                      But you. . .
               MICHAEL PUTS A HAND UP
                                   MICHAEL
                      Kelly. . . This is fun day. Try not to
                      be so ungrateful.
                                   KELLY
                      Ungrateful? I paid for myself.
               MICHAEL ROLLS HIS EYES AND LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.
                                   MICHAEL
                      You can shop here. Look.
               MICHAEL POINTS TO A BOOTH SELLING TRINKETS AND STUFFED
               ANIMALS.
               KELLY ROLLS HER EYES, SIGNS THE “W” WITH HER HANDS AND WALKS
               AWAY.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, A FEW MOMENTS LATER-D2
               JIM AND PAM STAND TOGETHER. JIM IS HOLDING THE FOLDER FILLED
               WITH ANDY’S HEADSHOTS.
                                   JIM
                      Pam, this is awesome. Let’s hand them
                      out to people here. Maybe people will
                      start thinking that he’s someone
                      famous. That way, his ego will take
                      over.  And. . . well, we all know what
                      that means.
               PAM GIGGLES
                                   PAM
                      What does it mean?
                                   JIM
                      I have no idea. But seriously. Let’s
                      do it.
               PAM CLAPS HER HANDS TOGETHER AND NODS EXCITEDLY.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, MID MORNING-D2
               MICHAEL, DWIGHT AND ANDY STAND AT A CARNIVAL GAME BOOTH,
               TRYING TO WIN A LARGE STUFFED ANIMAL. ANDY MAKES THE WINNING
               SHOT, AND DOES A RIDICULOUS VICTORY FIST PUMP.
                                   ANDY
                      Yeah! I was on the rowing team for a
                      semester at Cornell. Builds strength
                      in your arms.
               DWIGHT SCOFFS.
                                   DWIGHT
                      Try wrestling an angry bobcat.
               ANDY SCOFFS BACK.
                                   ANDY
                      Bobcat? I was also on the wrestling
                      team for a semester. I wrestled half
                      naked men! They are MUCH more slippery
                      than a stupid cat.
                                   DWIGHT
                      I said Bobcat, idiot.
                                   MICHAEL
                      I don’t get it. You had to have
                      cheated- these games are impossible!
               ANDY SMIRKS AS THE CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE HANDS HIM A LARGE
               STUFFED CAT AS HIS PRIZE.
               MICHAEL LOOKS JEALOUS.
               ANGELA WALKS BY, AND ANDY HANDS HER THE CAT, WINKING.
               ANGELA IS  SOMEWHAT COLD, AND TAKES THE CAT GINGERLY, BUT
               STARES AT DWIGHT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS.
                                   ANDY
                      (re: stuffed cat) There’s plenty more
                      where that came from.
                      I’ll get you a whole litter. I love
                      cats. All animals, really.  Don’t you?
                      Don’t you have cats?
               ANGLE ON DWIGHT, WHO GRITS HIS TEETH AND SWALLOWS.
               ANDY, PLEASED WITH HIMSELF, LOOKS AT THE OTHER MEN.
                                   ANDY (CONT’D)
                      Care for another match?
                                   DWIGHT
                      Prepare to meet your doom.
                                   MICHAEL
                      You guys are going down. Down Town.
                      Down. . .town Somethin’ brown.
               MICHAEL SHRUGS AND LAUGHS AWKWARDLY, LOOKING AT THE CAMERA.
               ANGLE ON ANGELA, WHO HOLDS THE CAT AND LOOKS ON. SHE IS
               CLEARLY PLEASED WITH THE ATTENTION, BUT PRETENDS NOT TO BE
               INTERESTED IN THE COMPETITION.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, OUTSIDE THE FUN HOUSE, A WHILE
               LATER- D2
               JIM AND PAM STAND OUTSIDE THE FUN HOUSE AND HAND OUT ANDY’S
               PHOTO TO EVERYONE WHO ENTERS OR LEAVES.
                                   JIM
                      The amazing Andy Bernard, folks, here
                      for one day and one day only!
                                   PAM
                      Get your photo autographed by Andy in
                      person today! One time only!
               PASSERS-BY SEEM INTRIGUED AND TAKE THE PHOTOS.
               JIM TALKING HEAD
                                   JIM
                      I am pretty sure we’re playing a
                      dangerous game here. But I’m curious
                      to see where this goes.
               PAM TALKING HEAD
                                   PAM
                      This is so bad. So bad. People are
                      looking at Andy like he’s famous. We
                      are creating a monster. A monster that
                      went to Cornell. 
               EXT. THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, NEXT TO THE FERRIS WHEEL,
               AFTERNOON-D2
               CREED CHATS UP A CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE AND THE TWO LAUGH AND SEEM
               TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER. MEREDITH PASSES BY, OBVIOUSLY DRUNK, AND
               JOINS THE CONVERSATION. THE CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE MOTIONS THE TWO
               TO FOLLOW HIM BEHIND THE TENT. CREED AND MEREDITH GLANCE
               AROUND TO MAKE SURE THEY ESCAPE THE CAMERA, AND SNEAK AWAY.
               SPY SHOT: CREED AND MEREDITH DRINK FROM A WHISKEY BOTTLE AND
               APPEAR TO BE PASSING A MYSTERIOUS CIGARETTE BACK AND FORTH
               AMONG CLOWNS AND VARIOUS CARNIE-TYPES.
               CREED TALKING HEAD
                                   CREED
                      I spent three years as a carnie. In
                      the seventies.  Time of my life. The
                      sex, the drugs, the anonymity. . .
                      Carnival folk  really know how to
                      party.
               CREED RAISES HIS EYEBROWS AND NODS, REMINISCENT.
               EXT. THE OFFICE PARKING LOT, AFTERNOON -D2
               JAN PULLS UP TO THE PARKING LOT, AND SEES THE CARS OF THE
               EMPLOYEES. SHE GETS OUT OF HER CAR AND APPROACHES THE DOOR TO
               THE OFFICE, TRIES TO OPEN IT, BUT REALIZES THAT IT IS LOCKED.
               SHE TURNS AROUND ANGRILY.
               JAN TALKING HEAD
                                   JAN
                      He’s at that stupid carnival, isn’t
                      he? I’m dating a manipulative five
                      year old.  No wonder he’s got a mommy
                      complex.
               JAN LOOKS DOWN AT HER BREASTS AND SIGHS HEAVILY THEN LOOKS
               BACK UP AT THE CAMERA.
                                                                 CUT TO:
               EXT. THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, NEXT TO THE COTTON CANDY VENDOR,
               AFTERNOON- D2
               MICHAEL DANCES AROUND RIDICULOUSLY, SPINNING IN A CIRCLE,
               SHOVING HIS FACE WITH COTTON CANDY. HE SMILES AT THE CAMERA,
               HAMMING IT UP. HE BEGINS TO SING A PARODY OF “I WANT CANDY”
               BY BOW WOW WOW.
                                   MICHAEL
                      I…want candy. . .cott-on candy!
               INT. INSIDE THE FUN HOUSE, CARNIVAL, AFTERNOON-D2
               KELLY AND MEREDITH WALK THROUGH THE FUN HOUSE, LOOKING AT
               THEIR REFLECTIONS IN THE MIRRORS. KELLY LOOKS AT HERSELF IN A
               MIRROR THAT MAKES HER LOOK VERY TALL AND THIN.
                                   KELLY
                      Wow. I look hot. This is awesome.
               MEREDITH HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN DRINKING HEAVILY, AND LOOKS AT
               HERSELF IN A REGULAR MIRROR.
                                   MEREDITH
                      Woah. This one makes you dizzy.
               MEREDITH PUTS A HAND TO HER HEAD AND BLINKS DRUNKENLY.
               KELLY MOVES ON TO ANOTHER MIRROR. THIS MIRROR MAKES HER LOOK
               FAT, WHICH DISTURBS HER, AND SHE LEAVES THE FUN HOUSE LOOKING
               DISTRESSED.
               KELLY TALKING HEAD
                                   KELLY
                      I like, hate carnival rides, because
                      when I was little they’d make me like
                      throw UP, but. . . I think I want to
                      ride the tilt-a-whirl now. But first,
                      I am totally getting some funnel cake.
                      I might as well make it worth it.
               EXT. CARNIVAL GROUNDS, OUTSIDE THE FUN HOUSE, A FEW MOMENTS
               LATER-D2
               MEREDITH STUMBLES OUT OF THE FUN HOUSE AND LOOKS AROUND,
               BLINKING IN THE SUN. A MAN IN A CLOWN COSTUME PASSES BY HER
               AND WINKS. SHE SMILES DEVILISHLY AND FOLLOWS HIM. 
               EXT. CARNIVAL GROUNDS, NEXT TO A FOOD VENDOR, MOMENTS LATER
               D2
               KELLY VORACIOUSLY GOBBLES DOWN A LARGE SIZED FUNNEL CAKE, HER
               FACE COVERED WITH POWDERED SUGAR. SHE NOTICES THE CAMERA
               ZEROING IN ON HER AND GIVES THE CAMERAMAN A DIRTY LOOK,
               MOTIONING HIM AWAY.
                                                                 CUT TO:
               EXT. CARNIVAL GROUNDS, OUTSIDE A TENT, A WHILE LATER- D2
               MEREDITH EMERGES FROM BEHIND A CARNIVAL TENT, HAY IN HER
               HAIR, HER FACE SMEARED WITH CLOWN MAKE-UP. SHE NODS AT THE
               CAMERA, UNAWARE OF HER APPEARANCE.
               EXT. THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, OUTSIDE A GAME BOOTH, AFTERNOON-
               D2
               ANDY, MICHAEL AND DWIGHT CONTINUE TO BATTLE. THEY PLAY “RING
               THE BELL”, HEAVING A MALLET ONTO A PLATFORM.  DWIGHT GOES
               FIRST, HEAVING THE MALLET WITH VENGEANCE IN HIS EYES. HIS
               SCORE IS DECENT, BUT DOESN’T RING THE BELL. HE SMIRKS, AND
               HANDS THE MALLET TO MICHAEL.
                                   DWIGHT
                      I chop a lot of wood.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Shut up.
               MICHAEL, CONCENTRATING VERY INTENSELY, TAKES A SWING AT THE
               PLATFORM AND MISSES ENTIRELY. HE YELLS.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      I get another try! The mallet was all
                      greasy from your hands, Dwight!
               MICHAEL GESTURES TOWARD THE FUNNEL CAKE THAT DWIGHT IS NOW
               EATING. DWIGHT SHRUGS.
               MICHAEL SWINGS AGAIN, AND HIS SCORE IS VERY LOW. HE THROWS
               THE MALLET DOWN AND STORMS OFF.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      This is stupid. All these games are
                      rigged anyway.
               ANDY PICKS THE MALLET UP AND STEPS IN FOR HIS TURN. HE
               SWINGS, AND RINGS THE BELL. THE CARNIE APPEARS IMPRESSED.
               ANDY BEAMS WITH PRIDE. DWIGHT SULKS.
                                   DWIGHT
                      This isn’t really a game of skill.
                      Besides, my performance was hindered
                      by the grease on my hands. Try
                      harvesting an entire beet crop in one
                      afternoon.
               ANDY SCOFFS.
               NEARBY, A WOMAN HOLDING A PHOTO OF ANDY RECOGNIZES HIM, AND
               MOTIONS TO ANOTHER WOMAN. THEY APPROACH HIM WITH THEIR
               CHILDREN IN TOW.
                                   ANDY FAN 1
                      Excuse me, are you Andy Bernard?
               ANDY SEEMS SHOCKED AND FLATTERED
                                   ANDY
                      At your service.
                                   ANDY FAN 1
                      Can I have your autograph?
               ANDY BEAMS
                                   ANDY
                      Why certainly.
               DWIGHT LOOKS ON, BEWILDERED AS ANDY SIGNS THE PHOTO.
               MEANWHILE, OTHER PATRONS NOTICE AND BEGIN TO FORM A LINE.
               ANDY, CONFUSED BUT BASKING IN THE ATTENTION, HAMS IT UP FOR
               THE CROWD.
               ANGLE ON ANGELA, WHO WALKS BY, NOTICING THE COMMOTION. SHE
               LOOKS ON CURIOUSLY, IMPRESSED BY ANDY. 
               ANGLE ON DWIGHT, WHO WATCHES ANGELA, TROUBLED.
               CLOSE ON ANDY, WHO IS HOLDING THE MALLET OVER HIS SHOULDER
               AND STANDING TALL AND PROUD, LIKE PAUL BUNYAN. 
               ANDY TALKING HEAD
                                   ANDY (CONT’D)
                      I have no idea how my head shot got
                      out to the public, but I’m feeling
                      pretty dang good right now. I told
                      you. I love carnivals.
               INT, JAN’S CAR, RIGHT OUTSIDE THE OFFICE, AFTERNOON-D2
               JAN SITS IN HER CAR FUMING AND REAPPLYING LIPSTICK.  SHE
               ADJUSTS HER BREASTS IN THE MIRROR AND LOOKS BACK AT THE
               CAMERA, A DETERMINED EXPRESSION ON HER FACE.
                                   JAN
                       He was saying that? He’s the boss,
                      huh? Right.
                      Well, it’s not gonna be that easy.  He
                      wants to go to a carnival? Fine. We’ll
                      go to a (expletive) carnival.

                                   END OF ACT ONE
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, A PICNIC TABLE, AFTERNOON- D2
               KEVIN AND STANLEY SIT DEVOURING A FEAST OF CARNIVAL FARE.
               KEVIN LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, MOUTH FULL, AND SMILES SHEEPISHLY.
               STANLEY IGNORES THE CAMERA AND FOCUSES ON HIS TURKEY LEG.
               STANLEY TALKING HEAD
                                   STANLEY
                      I might as well get something outta
                      this. My wife has me on a diet.
               KEVIN TALKING HEAD
                                   KEVIN
                      Am I having a good time? 
               KEVIN HOLDS UP A VERITABLE FEAST TO THE CAMERA, THEN LOOKS UP
               AT THE CAMERA SHEEPISHLY, GRINS, AND GIVES THE THUMBS UP
               SIGN.
               EXT. THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, THE FERRIS WHEEL LINE, AFTERNOON
               D2
               ANDY, ANGELA, PHYLLIS, BOB VANCE, OSCAR AND GIL STAND IN LINE
               FOR THE FERRIS WHEEL. A CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE HELPS PHYLLIS AND
               BOB INTO A GONDOLA, PHYLLIS SMILES AND SNUGGLES INTO BOB, WHO
               WAVES GOODBYE TO THE OTHERS AS THE NEXT GONDOLA COMES DOWN,
               AND GIL AND OSCAR BOARD. ANOTHER GONDOLA COMES DOWN, AND THE
               CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE USHERS ANGELA IN. HE LOOKS AT THE EMPTY
               SPACE NEXT TO HER AND USHERS ANDY IN AFTER HER. ANDY GRINS
               AND BOARDS NEXT TO HER.
                                   ANDY
                      Don’t mind if I do! Let’s get it on!
               ANGELA GLARES AT ANDY
                                   ANDY (CONT’D)
                      I meant. . . the ride.
               ANDY SILENCES HIMSELF AND SITS QUIETLY AS THE RIDE BEGINS.
               ANGLE ON DWIGHT, WHO WATCHES FROM THE GROUND, CLEARLY UPSET.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, LATER D-2
               MICHAEL WALKS PAST THE FERRIS WHEEL AS ANDY IS EXITING THE
               RIDE.  ANGELA EXITS NEARBY, HASTILY WALKING AWAY FROM ANDY,
               WHO LOOKS SHEEPISH.  QUICKLY RECOVERING, ANDY APPROACHES
               MICHAEL.
                                   ANDY
                      Yo, broski!  Let’s hit up the bumper
                      cars, dude! Get our ride on.
                      Bump…bump…bump it up! 
               ANDY NUDGES MICHAEL PLAYFULLY, MICHAEL BRIGHTENS.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Yeah. Yeah, alright.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, IN LINE FOR THE BUMPER CARS
               MICHAEL AND ANDY STAND IN LINE TALKING
                                   MICHAEL
                      I don’t know, man, are you sure you’re
                      ready for this?  They used to call me
                      ‘whiplash” in high school.
               MICHAEL LOOKS AT THE CAMERA BOASTFULLY
                                   ANDY
                      That’s nothing. One time, I was like,
                      beyond wasted, and one of my frat
                      brothers and I drove off a cliff and
                      into a ravine.  Woke up in the
                      hospital like two days later. It. Was.
                      Awesome. 
               ANDY LOOKS AT MICHAEL FOR APPROVAL, MICHAEL FROWNS.
               THE CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE WAVES THE LINE FORWARD, AND PEOPLE
               ENTER THE RING AND CHOOSE THEIR CARS.  MICHAEL MAKES A MAD
               DASH FOR A RED CAR AND JUMPS IN EXCITEDLY. NEARBY, MICHAEL
               NOTICES THAT PHYLLIS AND BOB VANCE ARE BOARDING THE RIDE AS
               WELL. 
                                   MICHAEL
                      (to Phyllis)
                      Wait, Phyllis, are you sure you should
                      be doing this?
                      With…your…condition?
               PHYLLIS LOOKS CONFUSED
                                   PHYLLIS
                      What condition, Michael?
               MICHAEL LOOKS WARILY AT THE CAMERA
                                   BOB VANCE
                      You’d better watch out, Mike, she’s a
                      demon on wheels, this one.
               PHYLLIS GIGGLES.
               MICHAEL LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AND MAKES A FACE, CLEARLY
               SKEPTICAL.
                                   MICHAEL
                      (to camera) Great. Well, she can’t say
                      I didn’t warn her.
               PHYLLIS, OVERHEARING MICHAEL, LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AND SMIRKS.
               A CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE WALKS BY, SECURING EVERYONE IN THEIR
               SEATS.  ANDY MAKES A CONFIDENT FACE AND GESTURES A “THUMBS
               UP” TOWARD THE CAMERA. 
               MICHAEL PLAYS WITH HIS SEAT BELT, ANXIOUS.
                                   MICAHEL
                      (Re: seatbelt) Is this thing working?
                      I feel like it’s supposed to be
                      tighter. Excuse me? Carnie?  Carnie?
               MICHAEL IS INTERRUPTED BY A LOUD WHISTLE, SIGNALING THE
               BEGINNING OF THE RIDE. IMMEDIATELY, MICHAEL’S CAR IS BUMPED
               FROM BEHIND. OBVIOUSLY DISTURBED BY THIS, MICHAEL ATTEMPTS TO
               MANEUVER HIS CAR AROUND AND BUMP HIS PERPETRATOR, BUT HAS
               TROUBLE GETTING THE CAR TO MOVE IN REVERSE.
               ANDY, GRINNING EXCITEDLY, SPEEDS BY.
               PHYLLIS, RIGHT BEHIND ANDY, SPEEDS INTO HIM, GIVING HIS CAR A
               HEARTY BUMP.  ANDY LOOKS BEHIND HIM, LAUGHING.
               PHYLLIS THEN TURNS HER CAR AND FOCUSES IN ON MICHAEL, WHO IS
               STILL STRUGGLING WITH HIS CAR. PHYLLIS SMILES AT THE CAMERA.
                                   PHYLLIS
                      This is going to be fun.
               PHYLLIS DRIVES HER BUMPER CAR STRAIGHT INTO MICHAEL’S AT FULL
               SPEED, FORCING HIS CAR INTO A CORNER. MICHAEL PRETENDS TO
               LAUGH IT OFF, BUT IS VISIBLY DISTURBED.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Way to go, you got me! 
               BOB VANCE, TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MICHAEL’S VULNERABLE POSITION,
               BUMPS INTO HIM, SHOVING MICHAEL FURTHER INTO THE CORNER.
               MICHAEL TURNS AROUND AND GLOWERS, STILL STRUGGLING TO TURN
               HIS CAR AROUND.
                                   MICHAL
                      Foul!
               ANDY SPINS HIS CAR AROUND IN A CIRCLE, LAUGHING AND HIGH
               FIVING FELLOW DRIVERS.
               MICHAEL, FINALLY EMERGING FROM HIS CORNER, A FIRE OF REVENGE
               IN HIS EYES, DRIVES FULL SPEED AHEAD TOWARD PHYLLIS AND BOB,
               GRITTING HIS TEETH.
               ANDY LOOKS AT MICHAEL, CONCERNED.
               JUST AS MICHAEL IS INCHES AWAY FROM BUMPING INTO PHYLLIS, THE
               RIDE STOPS.  MICHAEL, FRUSTRATED, THROWS UP HIS ARMS AND
               YELLS.
               EXT, OUTSIDE THE BUMPER CARS, A FEW MOMENTS LATER-D2
               PHYLLIS AND BOB HIGH FIVE AND LAUGH.
                                   BOB VANCE
                      (to Michael) Nice job, Mike.
               MICHAEL SHRUGS AND WALKS OFF
               MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
                                   MICHAEL
                      You know, I am usually really
                      competitive, but I just didn’t have
                      the heart to beat the crap out of
                      Phyllis. She’s weak. I had to let her
                      win. But, the bragging? The high
                      fiving?  That’s just tacky.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, LATER D-2
               JIM AND PAM WALK AROUND THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS. PAM WEARS A
               SILLY HAT AND JIM HOLDS A BUCKET OF POPCORN. THEY PASS BY
               MICHAEL SITTING BY HIMSELF ON A BENCH, POUTING.
                                   JIM
                      (to Michael) What’s up, man?
               MICHAEL LOOKS UP WARILY
                                   MICHAEL
                      (muttering) This place sucks.
               JIM GIVES PAM A LOOK AND SHE NODS, EXITING TO GIVE THE TWO
               MEN A MOMENT ALONE.  JIM SITS DOWN NEXT TO MICHAEL.
                                   JIM
                      What’s the problem? This was your
                      idea, you love carnivals.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Well not anymore, Jim. Times have
                      changed. All the games are rigged, you
                      can’t win.  The times they are a’
                      changin’.  Bob Dole.
               JIM SHAKES HIS HEAD, AMUSED
                                   JIM
                      Right.
               MICHAEL AWKWARDLY TRIES TO GIVE JIM A NOOGIE, BUT JIM SHRUGS
               HIM OFF.
                                   MICHAEL
                       Ahhh, you kids. You kids will never
                      know.
                                   JIM
                      Never know. . . What?
               MICHAEL GIVES THE CAMERA A KNOWING LOOK.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Exactly.
               JIM, CONFUSED AND AMUSED, GIVES MICHAEL A FUNNY LOOK, SHRUGS,
               AND PATS HIM ON THE BACK.
               MICHAEL, PLEASED WITH HIMSELF, SIGHS AND LEANS BACK,
               THOUGHTFUL.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, A PICNIC TABLE, AFTERNOON- D2
               ANGELA SITS BY HERSELF, HER STUFFED CAT SITTING NEXT TO HER,
               EATING AN ICE-CREAM SUNDAE. DWIGHT APPROACHES, SITTING NEXT
               TO HER. SHE IGNORES HIM AND SCOOTS AWAY.
                                   DWIGHT
                      Monkey. . .talk to me. What can I do?
                      I didn’t mean to hurt it. It looked
                      dead when I found it.
                                   ANGELA
                      It??!
                                   DWIGHT
                      She. Sparkles.
                                   ANGELA
                      Sprinkles!!
                                   DWIGHT
                      Sprinkles. I thought I was helping.
                                   ANGELA
                      You wouldn’t know the first thing
                      about helping an animal. Get out of my
                      sight.
               EXT. THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, NEXT TO THE ANIMAL EXHIBIT,
               AFTERNOON- D2
               JIM AND PAM ARE WALKING AROUND THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS GIGGLING.
               THEY PASS BY THE ANIMAL EXHIBIT WHICH ADVERTISES IN COLORFUL
               LETTERING “LIVE BEARS!”
               DWIGHT PASSES BY THEM, LOOKING FORLORN.
               JIM AND PAM EXCHANGE GLANCES AS DWIGHT ENTERS THE ANIMAL
               EXHIBIT.
               INT, THE CARNIVAL, INSIDE THE BEAR EXHIBIT, MOMENTS LATER- D2
               DWIGHT, ALONE IN THE TENT, CROSSES TO A CAGE THAT HOLDS A
               DOCILE LOOKING BEAR. DWIGHT CARESSES THE CAGE BARS AND TALKS
               TO HIMSELF/THE BEAR.
                                   DWIGHT
                      How can it be? What a sordid fate I,
                      too have come to find, my powerful
                      friend. Sprinkles was suffering.
                      I would never kill a creature out of
                      malice.  I love animals too. I’m a man
                      of nature, of the land. And now I’ve
                      lost my sweet lady.
               THE BEAR GRUNTS.
                                   DWIGHT (CONT’D)
                      I know. You too, huh?
               DWIGHT BEGINS TO SOB SOFTLY, AND NOTICING THAT THE BEAR CAGE
               HAS BEEN LEFT UNLOCKED, HE BEGINS TO OPEN THE CAGE.
                                   DWIGHT (CONT’D)
                      Run. Run free my friend.
                                                                 CUT TO:
               EXT. THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, OUTSIDE THE ANIMAL EXHIBIT,
               MOMENTS LATER-D2
               A GROWL AND A SCREAM ERUPT FROM THE TENT, AND THREE BEAR
               TRAINERS RUN INTO THE TENT FRANTICALLY.
               JIM TALKING HEAD
                                   JIM
                      Wow. Mauled? Wow. I. . . Did not see
                      that coming.
               DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
               DWIGHT’S CLOTHES ARE TORN AND HE HAS SCRATCHES ON HIS FACE.
                                   DWIGHT
                      I’m fine.
               DWIGHT REMOVES HIS GLASSES, CLEANS THEM, AND PUTS THEM ON,
               REMAINING STONE-FACED.
               ANDY TALKING HEAD
               ANDY TALKS AS HE CASUALLY POPS PEANUTS INTO HIS MOUTH.
                                   ANDY
                      He did what? What an idiot. Seriously?
                      What. An. Idiot.
               ANDY STARTS TO LAUGH, BUT CHOKES ON A PEANUT IN THE PROCESS,
               AND STARES WIDE-EYED INTO THE CAMERA, MOTIONING FOR HELP,
               WHICH IS IGNORED. FINALLY, HE COUGHS THE PEANUT UP, AND
               SWALLOWS, EMBARRASSED.
               MICHEAL TALKING HEAD
                                   MICHAEL
                      Do I feel responsible? Of course. I’m
                      responsible. I’m a responsible guy.
                      That’s why I’m the boss.
               MICHAEL SCOFFS AT THE QUESTION, CLEARLY NOT UNDERSTANDING IT.
               ANGELA TALKING HEAD
                                   ANGELA
                      I don’t have anything to say about it.
                      I’m just glad no animals were hurt.
               ANGELA CLUTCHES THE STUFFED CAT ANDY GAVE HER, AND LOOKS AWAY
               FROM THE CAMERA, ON THE VERGE OF BECOMING EMOTIONAL.

                                   END OF ACT TWO
                                      ACT THREE
               EXT. CARNIVAL GROUNDS, D-2
                MICHEAL WALKS AROUND THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, SEEMINGLY BORED
                WITH THE CARNIVAL, AND PRETENDS TO DUCK INTO A NEARBY
                BATHROOM, THINKING HE IS FOOLING THE CAMERAS.
               SPY SHOT:
               MICHAEL EXITS THE BATHROOM, THINKING HE IS UNSEEN, AND WALKS
               OVER TO A GAME TENT WHERE HE TALKS WITH A CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE.
               HE HAS A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL IN HIS HAND, AND GESTURES
               TOWARD A LARGE STUFFED ANIMAL DISPLAYED AMONGST THE VARIOUS
               GAME PRIZES.  THE EMPLOYEE LOOKS AT MICHAEL STRANGELY, BUT
               TAKES THE MONEY AND SHRUGS AS HE REACHES FOR THE STUFFED
               ANIMAL, WHILE LOOKING AROUND TO SEE IF ANYONE IS LOOKING.
                                   CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE
                      (shouting)  Winner!
               THE CARNIVAL EMPLOYEE HANDS MICHAEL THE BEAR, AND MICHAEL
               BEAMS PROUDLY.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, A FEW MOMENTS LATER-D2
               MICHAEL AND THE REST OF THE OFFICE CREW STAND AROUND THE
               ENTRANCE OF THE CARNIVAL WAITING OUTSIDE THE INFIRMARY TENT.
               MICHAEL IS VERY PROUD OF HIS LARGE STUFFED BEAR, AND KEEPS
               TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO NOTICE IT.  HE TALKS TO KELLY.
                                   MICAHEL
                      (re:bear) Do you want this?
                                   KELLY
                      No. That thing is ugly.  And it’s
                      almost as big as you are.
               MICHAEL SCOFFS.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Good, because you can’t have it.  I
                      won this.
               KELLY ROLLS HER EYES AND WALKS AWAY
               MICHAEL LOOKS AROUND AND TURNS TO GIL AND OSCAR.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      Hey Oscar, I bet you want this, huh?
                      Don’t gay guys like tough stuffed
                      animals?  I won this with my man
                      strength.  
               GIL AND OSCAR SHARE A LOOK, OSCAR LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.
               MICHAEL DOES A LITTLE DANCE OVER TO OSCAR, AND FLEXES HIS
               BICEP, ENCOURAGING OSCAR TO TOUCH IT. OSCAR APPEARS TO BE
               DISGUSTED. 
               MICHAEL GIGGLES AND LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, THEN TURNS TO PAM
               AND JIM.
               PAM AND JIM LOOK AT THE CAMERA, SLIGHTLY AMUSED.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      Oooh Pam. . . I got you a present. I
                      won this. Did your boyfriend win
                      anything for you? 
               MICHAEL GRINS AND LOOKS AT JIM, JIM SHRUGS, SHAKING HIS HEAD.
                      Woah! Oh no. . . uh oh. . . Look who’s
                      in the dog house now, Jimbo! 
               MICHAEL GOES TO HAND PAM THE BEAR, BUT PAM RESISTS.
                                   PAM
                      No thank you, Michael.
               FOR A MOMENT, MICHAEL LOOKS HURT, BUT RECOVERS QUICKLY.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Fine. Your loss! 
               MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
               MICHAEL SITS ON A NEARBY BENCH, THE BEAR ON HIS LAP. HE
               PRETENDS THAT IT IS A VENTRILOQUIST’S DUMMY AND SPEAKS FOR IT
               WHILE MAKING IT MOVE AS IF IT IS SPEAKING.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Raindrops on roses and
                      whiskers…and…kittens…blah blah
                      blah blah blah, and bright shiny
                      mittens…  Wait…wanna see a magic
                      trick? ? 
               THE CAMERA SLOWLY TURNS AWAY FROM MICHAEL, UNINTERESTED.
               MICHAEL RUNS BACK INTO THE PATH OF THE CAMERA, THIS TIME,
               PRETENDING THAT THE STUFFED BEAR IS MAULING HIM.  MICHAEL
               GRINS AND LOOKS TOWARD THE CAMERA FOR VALIDATION.
                                   MICHAEL (CONT’D)
                      Who am I?  Who am I ? 
               ANDY WALKS OVER TO MICHAEL, NOTICING THE BEAR.
                                   ANDY
                      (re:bear) Wow, that thing is HUGE!
               MICHAEL BEAMS WITH PRIDE.
                                   MICHAEL
                      That’s what she said. 
                                   ANDY
                      It’s a lot bigger than the one that I
                      got.
               MICHAEL SMIRKS AT THE CAMERA
                                   ANDY CONT’D
                      How’d you win that? I have been trying
                      all day to get my hands on something
                      like that.
               MICHAEL LAUGHS AT THE SEXUAL IMPLICATIONS OF ANDY’S
               STATEMENT, SMIRKING AND SHAKING HIS HEAD.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Well, you know, we can’t all be
                      winners. I just got lucky, I guess.
                                   ANDY
                      What game was it?
               MICHAEL BEGINS TO BECOME IRRITATED AND WALKS AWAY, PRETENDING
               NOT TO HEAR THE QUESTION.
               EXT, THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS, A FEW MOMENTS LATER-D2
               THE BUS PULLS UP TO THE CARNIVAL ENTRANCE, AND THE OFFICE
               CREW SLOWLY LOADS UP, MICHAEL FORCING HIS WAY THROUGH THE
               LINE, BEAR IN TOW. 
               ONCE LOADED, THE BUS PULLS SLOWLY AWAY.
               INT. JAN’S CAR, MOMENTS LATER-D2
                                   JAN
                      Oh you have got to be kidding me.
               JAN SPEEDS UP TO CATCH THE BUS, GLARING.
               INT, THE BUS, A FEW MILES DOWN THE ROAD-D2
                (MICHAEL, BUS DRIVER)
                                   MICHAEL
                      (Re: Jan’s car) That’s her. I know
                      it’s her. Listen, pal, you’ve got to
                      do me a solid and step on it.
                                   BUS DRIVER
                      I’m not going to do that. Please sit
                      down, or I will have to pull over.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Pull over? C’mon man, Bus chases
                      happen all the time. This just got
                      real. 
               THE BUS DRIVER CUTS MICHEAL OFF
                                   BUS DRIVER
                      Sir! Unless there is a life
                      threatening emergency, which this is
                      NOT, take your seat. Now.
               MICHAEL LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AND ROLLS HIS EYES DRAMATICALLY,
               THROWING HIS HANDS IN THE AIR, EXASPERATED, AS HE RETURNS TO
               HIS SEAT.
               MICHEAL TALKING HEAD
                                   MICHAEL
                      “Not life threatening”? Jan has
                      threatened my life before. I’m not
                      kidding. Over cereal. She’s gotta have
                      her mini-wheats.
               INT, THE BUS, A FEW MOMENTS LATER, D-2
                (KEVIN, STANLEY)
                                   KEVIN
                      (re: Michael) Dude, he is in for it.
                                   STANLEY
                      Mmmm hmmm.
               EXT. OFFICE PARKING LOT, D-2
                THE BUS PULLS INTO THE LOT, JAN’S CAR FOLLOWING. THE OFFICE
                EMPLOYEES BEGIN TO SLOWLY FILTER OUT OF THE BUS, MICHAEL
                LAGGING BEHIND.
               EXT. OFFICE PARKING LOT, D-2
                (MICHAEL, JAN)
               MICHAEL SEES JAN EXITING HER CAR AND WALKING BRISKLY TOWARD
               HIM, SO HE QUICKLY SHOVES THE GIANT BEAR TOWARD HER, AND
               EMBRACES HER, THE BEAR IN BETWEEN THEM.
                                   MICHAEL
                      Bear hug! I missed you babe!
               JAN LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, AND THEN AT MICHAEL. SHE IS SOMEWHAT
               ICY.
                                   JAN
                      Come on. Let’s go home.
                                   MICHAEL
                      You’re not mad?
                                   JAN
                      We’ll discuss it at home.
                                   MICHAEL
                      No, please please no. I don’t want to
                      go home if you’re mad at me.
                                   JAN
                      Michael. Let’s go. I told you. We’ll
                      discuss this at home.
               MICHAEL LOOKS AT THE CAMERA LIKE A CHILD AWAITING PUNISHMENT
               AND OBLIGES.
               JIM TALKING HEAD
                                   JIM
                      When have a relationship like
                      Michael’s, sometimes you’ve just got
                      to sneak off to a carnival, force your
                      unwilling employees to come along by
                      threatening to fire them and tell your
                      girlfriend that it was a mandatory
                      weekend work day.

                                  END OF ACT THREE
                                        TAG
               EXT. OFFICE PARKING LOT, D-2
                (JIM, PAM, DWIGHT)
               JIM WALKS PAM TO HER CAR, AND THEY SPOT DWIGHT WALKING TO HIS
               CAR LOOKING RATHER DEFEATED.
                                   JIM
                      I feel like we kinda messed up the
                      order of things. I mean, look at
                      Dwight.
               PAM NODS
                                   PAM
                      I know. He got mauled by a bear. And
                      he loves bears.
               JIM BRIGHTENS.
                                   JIM
                      I’ve got an idea. Do you still have
                      those headshots?
                                   PAM
                      Yeah.
               PAM HANDS JIM ANDY’S HEADSHOTS, AND JIM CROSSES TO DWIGHT.
                                   JIM
                      Hey, buddy, how are you doing, are you
                      feeling okay?
                                   DWIGHT
                      (stoic) I’m fine.
               JIM LEANS IN AND WHISPERS SOMETHING IN DWIGHT’S EAR, HANDING
               HIM THE STACK OF HEADSHOTS.
               DWIGHT SMIRKS, VERY PLEASED.
               PAM TALKING HEAD
                                   PAM
                      And all is right with the world.

                                     END OF SHOW

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